NO: Tension is created by withholding Rochester’s emotions until the end.
YES: Bronte creates tension by withholding Rochester’s emotions until the end.
NO: One could argue that shifts in voice and location evoke the chaos of the city in The Waste Land.
YES: One could argue that Shifts in voice and location evoke the chaos of the city in The Waste Land.
NO: What I mean is that Charlotte vividly displays her anxiety in the interview with Irene in Look at Me.
YES: What I mean is that Charlotte vividly displays her anxiety in the interview with Irene in Look at Me.
NO: Carroll tells the story from a child’s perspective. This is because he wants to present the strangeness of the modern world.
YES: Carroll chooses to use a child’s perspective in order to present the strangeness of the modern world.
See if some statements from the end of your paragraphs might be brought forward to the beginning. Many writers finally give a sense of what a paragraph is about at the very end. See if your conclusion actually works better as the introduction.
Combine sentences to make more complex ones.
Use quotation marks correctly and consistently.
NO: If you have ‘Also’ or ‘In addition’ or ‘Another way . . .’ at the beginning of each paragraph then you are writing a list of examples not an essay.
YES: Use transitions to guide the reader and to note shifts.
Use clear language to explain your points and why they are important.
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